My favorite band is this little group of newts I found under a log in the woods who play tiny trumpets made from hollow reeds and twigs
Oh yea I bet you can’t name 5 of their songs
1. Doot Toot
2. tiny fern
3. do NOT eat mushrooms you just find in the woods
4. broken heart broken trumpet
5. George Costanza is my hero
tell a grown ass man “no” n watch him revert to age 5 behavior
Last night I went from being pretty damn attractive to a ‘fat ugly slut’ in about .6 of a second for this reason, haha
It never fails.
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"